blakereflected

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The meaning of life

 

 

I’m holding on

I’m hearing everything

I’m keeping an open mind

But I just can't fucking take it

I just can't

I honestly

I honestly

My dad’s been beaten down

No one gives a shit about him

He’s just a fat fucking old man

With no money

A sick wife

And nothing to look forward to

Not even retirement

And I suffer because of this

My dad is my hero

My dad is everything I aim to be

My dad is I

And I love him so

It hurts me

I feel pain

I have panic attacks

I get short of breath

I question is life worth living

I don’t know sometimes

But then I see my dad

And I brush my face against his stubble

I kiss his cheeks

Like Jesus’ feet

I wrap my arms around him

I hold him

I feel his chubby belly in my hands

And I feel love

I feel something that is real

I feel alive

And as I do this I cry

And I forget the sadness I just felt

My hero is Walter Horsley

My hero fought for me

My hero stood with me beside my mother’s hospital bed

My hero sat next to me, while I lay in my own hospital bed

My hero bought me a Toronto Raptors basketball hat and gave it to me as I slept beside my mother when I was nine

My hero fed me

My hero clothed me

My hero bathed me

My hero held me
My hero saved me

My hero made me

And as I realize this

I realize life is worth living

My dad makes me see the clear blue

An unexamined life is not worth living

Thank you dad for showing me

The meaning of life

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