My Reasons For Air // April 11, 2013

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I question life too much

I question and try to make sense of death too much

I hurt when I do this

I venture into deep waters when I think

Thinking is my greatest enemy at certain points

It is during the drowned thoughts that I forget to fight for air

And simply, live

I forget who is important

I forget that there are people in my life that I value more than myself

I become consumed in selfish thought

And when I do I get panic stricken

I become afraid of myself

Afraid of my dark potential

For I have a mental illness

And it is hard to not love myself

More than my mom, my dad, my dogs

And my incredible girl, Amanda

I love her so much

I cannot slip for I will drag her down too

I will drag down my angel

I will hurt

And I will lose... love

So I must stay strong

And far from suffering

I must remember to breathe

And for once, forget my own heartbeat

Whilst thinking of each heartbeat of everyone I love

Only then, can I live

Always, in peace

I love Amanda so much

When I think of her, breathing is so simple