The past fills me with running thoughts
Mistakes I have made, over and over
Again and again
What keeps me breathing is the love of my friend
But I disappoint even myself
Am I worthy of a better life?
Do I dare handle the knife?
Breaking, not broken
Living, not dying
Can’t even begin to start crying
Paralyzed in a dreamlike state
While I sleep, no longer awake
And so I dream again for tomorrow to take me
Guided by my inner hatred
Of a life, so naked
Waking is exhausting
Tired, not even walking
Pain is so hard
But so easy to write
Blinded by day, guided by night
I want to change
God knows I do
But stuck in my thoughts is all that’s new
I did drugs
I’ve decided no more
For the sadness and hopelessness
Turns the next day
Into the next night
Sober today
Recovered from yesterday
Far from a couple days ago
I can’t take any of it back
For reaching towards the past is everything I lack
Change your life
Change your way of thinking
Keep your eyes open
Without even blinking
You’re all right
It’s okay
Let go of the past
Hold onto today
