A Covered Mouth

Seldom have I ventured down this path as of late

I have an overwhelming desire to sit and just wait

To sit and just crash and write this poetic shitty trash

I’ve ventured along a suicide’s rope

I have climbed the hillsides like an uneasy mountain goat

Manic was yesterday, and depression was the result

And so I sniffed white sand and a metaphor of salt

My eyes are heavy in a night that seems dreamy

All I can do is just try to be empty

My soul is worth more than the suffering I grant it

My soul’s song makes little sense as I continue to chant bullshit

Fuck God and his Angels in my long stupid dream

Fuck this shit I float in, in this once so calming stream

I envy the words that my mother used to say

Of how amazing I was, I always made her day

My youth was not nearly enough for her to sit and just stay

And so I drink throughout this coke-distracted drip

And so I drink another suicidal sip

If this is a trip, I dare not take another step

I am too fucked up to have even have slept

In the middle of the night, my ride through given gates has brought me to here

And all I can do is find an Angel’s giving ear

To sit and just listen to my greedy desire

To sit and just listen as I forget to light fire

Why does my body desire, all that is lost

Why is my body here, in a state I’ll never trust

I let go, and so I forget how to cry

I forget how to live, I forget how to try

Senseless I am and fragile I’ve become

Stupid and dumb, is this lesson and some

Broken bones, not willing, but still trying to be stable

Broken thoughts, not listening, but still giving and able

In this lit fairy tale, a melancholy fable

This life is not easy, but really whose is

This writing reflects how life can be abusive

I forget all that I’ve known and all that I’ve questioned

I forget all I've been taught, my very own lessons

Climbing and falling all into depression

Searching and seeking all that I'm left in

A covered mouth can’t stop me from calling

A broken existence won’t keep me from stalling

A painful persistence, though you won’t see me balling

I am still alive, breathing but falling