February 1, 2016

Where do I go from here
Where do I let my body steer
Is it the past or present I fear
Or is it the future, far away or near
I lay on the ground looking down
But dreaming up
How do I even begin to fill up my cup
How do I make sense of my deprivation's luck
When so many times I've looked at bare wrists and a blade, not knowing what to cut
I feel so much shame, so much judgement, so much stigma
Is my mind nothing more, but a vulnerable enigma
Do I grab the gun, do I pull the trigger
Do I keep venturing further, letting the universe grow bigger
Mind bent, body broken, life giving, never taking
This truth is a reality that keeps my spirit aching
This sickness is invisible, but its truth is not faking
I take the pills to a path I that I am now making
I wish I could take the pills and just be
But I am bipolar and I want the whole world to see
Is this suicide

Or is this me




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