Surrendering

I wonder who is listening With all in the world that is happening I wonder where I am travelling With a future that I just can't see I wish I knew what I wanted I wish my mind wasn't haunted I wish I could hold onto my dreams Instead of drowning in a shallow stream My words help me cope with my mental state And happiness gives me reason to wait I don't know why an illness does this I don't know why I cry inside I don't know why I am happy this morning I don't know why my life keeps turning I go in circles almost daily One second I love life The next I can't stop failing Depression lingers like a sniper's trigger It follows you everywhere until you let it get bigger And then peace is found when you shut off your mind But it always goes away like every second in time Oh how I wish I knew how to kill my demons They are inside and they are always found screaming And that is why I look to the ceiling And to prayers and wishes I never stop kneeling I aim to get better and hope to be free Of all of the sickness that keeps following me So I'll take my meds and just let my mind feel Through pain I'll find purpose Through surrendering I'll heal

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