Surrendering

September 7, 2016

I wonder who is listening
With all in the world that is happening
I wonder where I am travelling
With a future that I just can't see
I wish I knew what I wanted
I wish my mind wasn't haunted
I wish I could hold onto my dreams
Instead of drowning in a shallow stream
My words help me cope with my mental state
And happiness gives me reason to wait
I don't know why an illness does this
I don't know why I cry inside
I don't know why I am happy this morning
I don't know why my life keeps turning
I go in circles almost daily
One second I love life
The next I can't stop failing
Depression lingers like a sniper's trigger
It follows you everywhere until you let it get bigger
And then peace is found when you shut off your mind
But it always goes away like every second in time
Oh how I wish I knew how to kill my demons
They are inside and they are always found screaming
And that is why I look to the ceiling
And to prayers and wishes I never stop kneeling
I aim to get better and hope to be free
Of all of the sickness that keeps following me
So I'll take my meds and just let my mind feel
Through pain I'll find purpose
Through surrendering I'll heal

 

 


 

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