Do I

July 9, 2016

I breathe in and exhale a soft, gentle tone
I am far from company, on the ground and alone
Silence is what's heard, and calm is what I feel
The sun has set behind and a blanket canvas now kneels
I listen to the calls, the ones inside my head
It is dark outside, but I am still far from bed
A bird now sings an honest, giving tune
As I scan the dark sky, in search of the high moon
I beg for nothing, for now, I am content
The night is warm again, this place is heaven sent
Programmed to feel lost, naked and alone
Reoccurring day dreams of finding my only home
I let go of the past, for it often leaves me in despair
I look to the future knowing much, though still, not prepared
I love this night, as it speaks through the bird's voice
It is an omen spoken to me, when thought has little noise
Words disappear and reappear like a faded, twinkling star
This night gives me so much, but doesn't take one very far
I sit in the comfort of only my lone, begging company
Not a sound is heard anymore, and that does comfort me
The emptiness all around leaves me woken, and afraid
Though I know this feeling won't last, like any bed that is ever made 
I pray to God to keep me safe in his given, guiding arms
Looking inward I rewrap, my bloody, bandaged scars
I will not fade, I will not lie, and still, I do not sleep
I will let the night lift me, back into the deep
The voice in the back lit canopy speaks, only, given truth
Do I stay awake and dream, or is it sleep I now choose



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