Purpose In The Night

Please don't judge me

I'm just mentally ill

I just hurt so often

I try to make sense of my mind

A truth I just cannot find

And so I write

To find purpose in the night

And so I write

To make sense of my pain

To make sense of gray skies with no rain

I hurt when I pace

I race back to sleep

And vivid dreams are all I see

And terrible dreams are what I see

Waking up I just want to be

Different

Waking up I just want to be

Happy

But the anxiety takes hold

Fear of the future

Fear of what I'm told

Fear of the past

Fear of getting old

Sadness, for I hurt

Regret for who I've hurt

Remembering who I've been

Seeing myself now in something

Too real to be a dream

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