I walk
Through the halls with bare walls
Socks sweeping the seemingly dustless floor
What day is it? People stare from their rooms
Leaving their escape only as big as the crack in the glass
The air is stale
Loneliness is a shared state, in a psychiatric ward that is a new world
I am heavy, I am exhausted
I have nowhere to go, and so I go, back and forth, back and forth
As I walk, I want to run
As I imagine running, I want to scream
As I scream, I open my eyes, for I am only dreaming
As I pace, in this indoor race
I can’t fight this fact
The memory always comes back
In these bare walls, this empty hall, this sick place
Contagious, with a loneliness I cannot escape
I drape myself in this heavily medicated sober state
I am nowhere
But want to hide
Pacing alone, on a lone table, unstable, understanding my own insanity
Leaning on walls, my existence contained
I run, I fall, blinded by artificial light and unbreakable walls
Why did I come here
It is safe, there is no knife, but this isn’t life
A patient comes up to me and gives me a clementine
He does not speak English, but I understand his language
He is showing me something, and so, I accept his offering
This may not feel like living in the real world
But even good contained can be shared
And so, I smile at him, as he just stares
