When will the pain vacate
When will my mind be at ease
When will I be happy, when will I find peace
I strive to complete every step
And just continue moving forward
Lying awake, I can feel myself fading away
Lying awake, I push myself on for I cannot stay
I wrestle at life
But I have stopped training
I’ve put down the knife
But my scabs I continue to open
For as I begin to heal
I long for the steel
And so, I hurt, as I hurt myself
I hurt as I am too tired to wipe the blood from the floor
I hurt as I cannot find the door, the way outside
Longing to love where I am, but wanting to escape
All at once, all at once, all at once
All at once
The pain keeps me upright
Until I find a place to rest
Where life seems at its best
And I am not even awake to see
And I am not even alive to feel
For now, life, is pain
And so I must take the next step
To find my place again
I keep my eyes open, hurting as I do
I close my eyes and life becomes a beautiful dream
But it’s only a dream
It is not true
It is simply a release, one I have found
Wanting nothing more than strength and stability on this shared solid ground
Wanting nothing more than to heal, in a life that is only real when my eyes wander
When the pain is my company, when I cannot choose, only ponder
Can such a feeling be found, as my eyes wander longing for more
I think so
I do
And so, I will go
