I Think So

When will the pain vacate

When will my mind be at ease

When will I be happy, when will I find peace

I strive to complete every step

And just continue moving forward

Lying awake, I can feel myself fading away

Lying awake, I push myself on for I cannot stay

I wrestle at life

But I have stopped training

I’ve put down the knife

But my scabs I continue to open

For as I begin to heal

I long for the steel

And so, I hurt, as I hurt myself

I hurt as I am too tired to wipe the blood from the floor

I hurt as I cannot find the door, the way outside

Longing to love where I am, but wanting to escape

All at once, all at once, all at once

All at once

The pain keeps me upright

Until I find a place to rest

Where life seems at its best

And I am not even awake to see

And I am not even alive to feel

For now, life, is pain

And so I must take the next step

To find my place again

I keep my eyes open, hurting as I do

I close my eyes and life becomes a beautiful dream

But it’s only a dream

It is not true

It is simply a release, one I have found

Wanting nothing more than strength and stability on this shared solid ground

Wanting nothing more than to heal, in a life that is only real when my eyes wander

When the pain is my company, when I cannot choose, only ponder

Can such a feeling be found, as my eyes wander longing for more

I think so

I do

And so, I will go