Depression Is Not Laughing

I hurt inside and out of body too

I walk with pain every step

I mask it by being a man

But I am only human

And sometimes I feel like giving up

Sometimes I feel like letting go

I just want this journey to end

I just want to find my place

In this existence

In this unbearable state

I feel like I walk back with every step forward

I feel like I can’t go any further

And yet I march

And yet I march

In search of so much more

In search of this blue blanket

Gracious past

Into this life, where time is my only companion

Where time moves oh so fast

And I just stand and fall

Depression is not laughing

And nor am I as I have forgotten

To enjoy

Just

Standing

I start this poem with a question

I beg life to answer

Why oh why oh why

Do I hurt so much inside