I question and try to make sense of death too much
I hurt when I do this
I venture into deep waters when I think
Thinking is my greatest enemy at certain points
It is during the drowned thoughts that I forget to fight for air
And simply, live
I forget who is important
I forget there are people in my life that I value more than myself
I become consumed in selfish thought
And when I do I get panic stricken
I become afraid of myself
Afraid of my dark potential
For I have a mental illness
And it is hard to not love myself
More than my mom, my dad, my dog
And my incredible girl,
Amanda
I love her so much
I cannot slip for I will drag her down too
I will drag down my angel
I will hurt
And I will loose,
Love
So I must stay strong
And far from suffering
I must remember to breathe
And for once, forget my own heartbeat
Whiles’t thinking of each heartbeat of everyone I love
Only then, can I live,
Always,
In peace
I love Amanda so much
When I think of her, breathing is so simple
